Dear Reader,
I’ve missed writing to you each week.
I’ve missed the rhythm of collecting, sorting and collaging my thoughts until I’m finally ready to click the “send” button.
I’ve missed knowing that somewhere out there someone is reading my words and hopefully saying, “yes, me too!”
So what have I been doing instead of writing and making art for Good and Beautiful Things?
Since the school year began a large percentage of my creative energy has shifted to teaching theater to middle school and high school students. As a finite human (not to mention a mother, wife, insomniac and bearer of chronic pain) it’s impossible to give all of my creative interests the same energy and space. Writing, theater and art have had to take turns stepping into the light. Until this teaching job came along, theater had been in the attic trunk for several years.
I also find myself in a unique season when all of my kids are around quite a bit. If my twenty-four-year-old daughter calls me up and asks if I’m free to hang out, the answer is an immediate “Yes!” especially knowing she has plans to move eight hours away in a few months. My sixteen-year-old daughter and I have been making our way through the Downton Abbey cannon just in time to see the final movie in the theater. My other daughter, a recent college graduate, is living at home while she teaches French and ESL classes, so we get to share the challenges and rewards of teaching. And my college-age son calls or stops by a few times a week and stays over some weekends.
On Being Stuck
Even though a good bit of my creative energy is being funneled into my theater class, I still care about what I’ve started to build with this newsletter. So when I get a spare moment I try to work on a new draft. I might get a few hundred words written but then I slowly…stop…typing. I lose the trail. I can’t see where I’m going. I have a handful of these “starts” every few weeks. Eventually they end up in my ever growing Google Docs graveyard.
“Another more apt phrase for what we call ‘writer’s block’ might be something more like ‘the studious avoidance of writing.’”
-Sarah Ruhl
I found my son facing a similar “blockage” when he called me the other day to brainstorm his next film class project. As he talked about the requirements of the project and the various ideas he had, he kept hitting the same wall: he couldn’t see the end of his ideas for a story and he didn’t want to go forward until his idea was fully fleshed out.
He and I tend to have some overlap in the way we look at creative projects (and life). We like to know how a project will end before we begin. I wanted to tell him: What if you pick the location and show up curious about the story you might find when you get there, instead of mapping it out first? I knew it wasn’t the answer he was looking for and possibly not the most practical answer since he had to make arrangements for friends to become actors or hold boom mics, etc.
When I was struggling to choose a play for my theater class last year the biggest block was that I wasn’t able to see how it would all turn out. I wanted a guarantee that I was making the right choice before I announced the play or started rehearsals. Eventually I had to make the decision and go forward anyway, shaping the design and performance as I went. It wasn’t until the night of the performance that I knew it was all going to be okay.
Moving Forward
I’m in the same position this year as I read through scripts except I carry a bit of knowledge gained from last year: I may not be able to see the end when I’m still at the beginning but I can trust myself to get us there. 1
In Sarah Ruhl’s essay On Writer’s Block2, she explains why she doesn’t believe that writer’s block is real. Instead she offers twelve different explanations for why a writer might be struggling to write. Her essay opens with the example of telling stories to her children at bedtime.
“At night, with my kids, I never failed to make up a story, I never had a ‘block’; maybe because the stakes were high: put a child to sleep.”
-Sarah Ruhl
“Stakes” are something talked about often for an actor playing a character in play but to put it in laymen’s terms: sometimes you need a certain level of desperation to get the job done.
I started today’s newsletter as I always seem to lately: unsure of which idea to follow because I couldn’t see where the different trails would take me. It turns out I just needed curiosity plus a fair bit of desperation plus trust in myself that I would eventually arrive at the finish line.
And here I am.
What are you struggling to finish (or begin) lately? What are you leaving in a trunk for now to make way for your other passions or responsibilities? Click over to the post to leave a comment.
Inspiration Collage
There is plenty of creative inspiration happening around me.
I’ve hosted two more “shared creative nights” where friends bring their creative projects to work on and we do a collective project as well.
Two of my daughters have taken up crocheting and they tend to level up quickly.
My other daughter loves collage and made this fantastic card for my birthday. She made the birds in a style that I first started drawing when the kids were young. This is our family (as birds) on a kayak. 😂
And finally, when I feel the need to sketch, my easy go-to is birds:
And occasionally a snail:
Blessings from the Guest Nest,
Aimee
Which is ultimately because I trust that God created me to do what I’m doing.
You can find this helpful essay in her book Lessons from My Teachers: From Preschool to the Present.
Wow, I really feel that quote "studiously avoiding writing." It definitely expands to other creative disciplines for me. I enjoy sharing our teaching struggles:)
“We like to know how a project will end before we begin.” I am the same, and it is such a creativity blocker! I’m glad you moved this piece forward to the finish line—it’s encouraging to see all the creativity going on! Love the birds ❤️