"Curiosity Killed the Cat"

and other lies about curiosity I no longer believe

Issue #58

When I started this newsletter a few years ago I came up with the tagline: “making space for creativity, curiosity, and courage”. Sure, these words conveniently all start with “c” but even more than that they connect together in ways that aren’t easily untangled. They also seem to show up every day of my life. My relationship with these three “c’s” is always changing but here are twelve things that I know today.

Twelve Things I Know About Curiosity (plus Creativity and Courage)

(12)
I know that I heard the first half of the proverb “Curiosity killed the cat” early in life but I must have been older when I found out that the cat came back. Which means my earliest association with curiosity was danger.

These two curious cats live with two of my daughters.

(11)
I know that school didn’t really help. Once I got past fifth grade English, it was pretty much standardized tests and red ink splayed across assignments, embedding the idea that there was a right answer to everything. Except in my writing classes, theater classes, and art classes (which happened to be my favorite classes).

(10)
I know that I became a Christian when I was about thirteen years old and for a large part of my life I associated being a Christian with finding and having the answers. The focus was on getting answers (sermons on Sunday) or reaching for conclusions (Bible Study) or offering answers (to friends or strangers or my children). For a long time, answers equaled safety. 

(9)
I know that I recently apologized to my twenty–one year old daughter because I don’t think I handled her deep and endless questions very well. They started at age three and haven’t stopped since.

Once she asked, Why are adults allowed to yell at kids but kids aren’t allowed to yell at adults?

Silence from me and then: “Because.”

Once she asked, Why can’t being bad mean being good and being good mean being bad?

Me: A large sigh.

In fifth grade she came home from science class and asked, “How does a baby get the genes from both the mommy and the daddy?”

I think you know what conversation we had later that day. She was never one to accept answers that weren’t really answers. 

(8)
I know that my daughter’s questions didn’t stop at the easy ones, she asked hard questions about God, her own faith, and justice in the world. Sometimes she processed her questions by drawing dark sketches or writing dark stories and my mom's heart worried. I wish that she hadn’t been able to see my fear. I wish that I could have been more curious with her instead. 

(7)
I know that her response when I brought it up the other night: she doesn’t remember feeling restricted in any way. It was a relief to hear it.

(6)
I know that it came up in the first place because she and her big sister recommended a David Bowie documentary¹ to me. Last week I got on the treadmill and started the documentary². Except it turned out to be the wrong one. So then I had to watch the other one too. Parts of the documentary stretched me but I was also fascinated by the artistic exploration of Bowie. He couldn’t help but experiment, design costumes and characters, paint canvases and make films. One reporter told him that she thought he had turned himself into a canvas and he agreed with her.³ He was at his happiest when his exploration was not bent toward what would please his audience the most but what most piqued his own curiosity.

Bowie said, “I think I have an abundantly healthy curiosity about life.” He also said, “I’d be really scared of feeling that I’d got somewhere because for me art is about searching...”

(5)
I know that a close friend said to me a few years ago, “You always ask good questions.” That was news to me. Soon after, in a church group a woman said, “You remind me of a friend of mine, she's a newspaper reporter.” I started to notice how all of the time, questions were forming in my head. Maybe I do ask good questions, I thought.

(4)
I know that a few weeks ago during a sermon one of my pastor’s admitted he didn’t know an answer to an issue that came up in the scripture for that week. He shared what he was thinking at that point in his research but he made it clear it was a work in progress, that the search would go on. It was a unique moment in the hundreds of sermons I’ve sat through in my life. I wonder if there was a weight lifted when he gave himself permission to show up with questions and not just answers that day. 

(3)
I know allowing my faith to leave room for questions is different than questioning my faith. Unlike Bowie (though I’m certainly no expert after two documentaries) I feel comfortable tethering my curiosity to a foundation of truth and placing some boundaries⁴ around it. At the same time I can still embrace the mystery that I find throughout creation and the Bible.

(2)
I know that curiosity can help me hold space for the values and beliefs of other people rather than fear them. This week I told a friend about a book I’d enjoyed and then I told her I wasn’t sure if the book was for her. After she read it anyway (and enjoyed it) she told me it didn’t bother her to encounter values other than her own in books because she knows that not everyone is like her and she doesn’t expect everyone to be.

(1)
I know for the past several years curiosity has become a superpower of sorts. When I’m able to change the lens I’m looking through from fear to curiosity, it opens up my conversations and my creative process and quiets my anxiety.

If I can replace the fear of awkward situations with true curiosity about the person I’m about to interact with then I don’t need to plan out what I will say or rehearse the conversation beforehand.

If I can replace “I know what’s going to happen and it won’t be good” with the question “I wonder what will happen?”, whether I’m holding a paintbrush or suitcase, my courage shows up at just the right moment.

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Blessings from the Guest Nest,

-Aimee

Note: The format of today’s newsletter was inspired by fellow writer Lauren Lanoue (thanks, Lauren!) and Austin Kleon’s weekly “ten things” newsletter.

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Tips on making ISH drawings

In my post last week, I shared about Ish drawings inspired by the book Ish by Peter H. Reynolds. Here are a few tips for creating Ish drawings.

1. Use a sharpie (a fine tip works well) or a pen with permanent ink. A pencil and eraser will tempt you to work too hard. Remember you’re not going for perfection, you’re going for drawing-ish.

2. Go ahead and draw all of the boxes and write the name of each object that you plan to draw, inside or below the box. Then go back and add -ish to all of the names. Hopefully you’ll feel the shift in your expectations.

   

   

3. Consider drawing from your imagination rather than looking at the object while you draw. It allows for more “ish” and less “getting it right”.

4. Next fill in your drawings with color. Watercolor work great with Sharpies because it won’t cover up the lines (and they match the original illustrations by Reynolds) but you can also use whatever you have on hand: colored pencils, markers, crayons, etc.

   

5. Breathe! Check in with yourself regularly and see if your shoulders are up to your ears and you’ve stopped breathing. Let those shoulders come back down and take a nice deep breath. And shake your hand a little bit to loosen up.

6. Other tips if you feel stuck: Set a timer for 10 seconds for each drawing. Working fast will help (you can play with the time increment). Try using your non-dominant hand for the drawings. By using your non-dominant hand you won’t put any pressure on yourself for the drawings to be good. They can be good-ish.

   

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From the Sketchbook

Thanks to a donation last week I purchased these Derwent Inktense Paints that you see in this photo (and I painted chickens, because this particular friend likes chickens). My first new watercolors in over ten years!

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Thanks so much for reading, sharing, and contributing to the conversation. You can support my art and writing by donating to my art supply fund and by sharing this newsletter with friends who might enjoy it.

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1. Moonage Daydream

2. David Bowie: The Last Five Years

3. Did you know Bowie provided the narration of Peter and the Wolf for a Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra? It’s an album available on Spotify. Or that he starred in a stage version of The Elephant Man?

4. Psalm 16:5-8: The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.