That Time I Tried to Be Ann Patchett

Jan 25, 2024

Good and Beautiful Things/Issue #47

A few weeks ago I tried to be the author, Ann Patchett. In an interview I read recently, she shared that she wrote her latest novel, Tom Lake, while walking at a treadmill desk for two hours each morning. She explained that since her two goals each morning were to exercise and to write, by combining them she was able to accomplish both of her goals at the same time.

It was a lightbulb moment for me. I also wake up each morning with the goals of writing and exercise. I’m usually irritated that I have to exercise before getting to the part of the morning that I’m excited about, which is the creative part. It’s not quite so bad in the warmer months when exercise means a lovely bike ride but in winter when it means an eternal forty-five minutes on a treadmill, I dread it. Thanks to Ann Patchett, I found the perfect solution.

Riding my bike was definitely not an option last week during Nashville’s “Snow-pacolypse”

There was the small issue of not owning a treadmill desk but I did have a treadmill. I googled to see if there was some way to adapt the machine to become a walking desk. Of course there was and it was available through Amazon and would arrive in four days. I waited impatiently knowing that my mornings were about to transform into an elegant blend of movement and creativity.

Finally, Amazon delivered the package and I pulled the “adjustable, ergonomic, bamboo treadmill, laptop holder” from the box and strapped it to the arms of my treadmill. I set my computer on the platform, turned the treadmill on and took my new set-up for a spin.

It was awkward at best. The height of the desk required a slight contortion of my arms to type on the keyboard. I tried fixing the problem by placing a book between the laptop and the desk. Then the desk began to slide off the arms of the treadmill. I pushed it back up. I also wasn’t used to walking while translating my thoughts into typed words. My enthusiasm dimmed a little but I chalked it up to needing some more practice.

For the next few days I climbed onto my new contraption and walked at a sloth-like pace and tried to write a draft of my newsletter. In my mind I could already see the future version of myself who was more fit and creatively satisfied. Who cared if I felt more like a giant child strapped into a moving high chair than an artist at work?

It took me a few days to admit that this was indeed a solution but it was not my solution. By taking the thing that I loved (writing) and combining it with something that I loathed (walking on the treadmill), I had ruined any part that I enjoyed about my daily writing time and I possibly hated the treadmill even more than before.

Maybe if I’d had a big desk with a treadmill pad underneath like Ann, I told myself, maybe this could have worked for me. But I honestly don’t think that’s true. The truth is that it worked for Ann Patchett but one look in the mirror assures me that I have never been nor will I ever be the writer of Bel Canto or the owner of Parnassus Bookstore.

I sent the treadmill attachment back to Amazon. Hefting the heavy box over the counter was a burden lifted from my creative time.

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For a long time I kept a birthday card from a friend displayed where I could see it. It had a black and white photo of an elaborate belly dancer in a headdress and it said:

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
-Oscar Wilde

This month in my art class we were challenged to capture 30 faces on a page and for me it pairs great with Wilde’s quote.

After decades of trying to borrow parts of other people’s personalities and Frankenstein a new version of myself, I’m actually glad that I recognized quickly this wasn’t the answer for me. With some more thought, I decided to change my schedule from exercising every day to exercising every other day. Now there are mornings when I wake up and the only thing ahead of me is my prayer/morning reading time and then I can head straight into writing or making art.

So far, it’s worked for me.

Now It’s Your Turn

Have you tried something in January (or at another time in your life) that worked for someone else but when you tried it, it was a bust?

That Time I Tried to Be Ann Patchett

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