Issue #60
Greetings!
This next week I’m starting a new job of sorts. Since it’s August, maybe you’re starting something new this month, too?
Some people are sending their kids to school for the first time while others will commence with their first year of homeschooling. Good friends are prepping for their first baby while other friends are beginning the process to foster children. Another friend came up to me in church today to tell me that she finally got a new job after enduring a nightmare of a job for the past year.
My new beginning isn’t as dramatic as most of these things and yet I’m alternating between excitement and fear just like an expectant mom (or a brand new middle schooler). Daily I seem to be giving myself a little pep talk to quiet my nerves and attempt to fan the flame of excitement instead.
It’s about time for today’s pep talk so I thought I’d share it with you at the same time in case you need a little encouragement, too.
For a little more context, I start teaching a theater class in two weeks. Although I’ve taught theater classes on and off for the last ten years or so, I’ve always done them on my own terms, separate from a school or other organization. My classes were made up of kids that I knew and I’ve always taught the classes for free so I had zero pressure or expectation from the parents.
This year I’m teaching in a homeschool organization, for board members that I don’t know and with families that don’t know me either.
Without further ado, here’s my pep talk.
Part 1: It’s Okay to be Scared
Aimee (or, your name here _______),
It’s true that for the last six years or so your relationship with fear hasn’t been so great. There have been times when fear has hijacked your body and then afterward, left you in the dust. In fact, that famous quote: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” finally makes sense, doesn’t it? But do you remember a time when fear was a compass instead?
Now think back to that time when you were teaching a Bible study on creativity. Remember when you asked the women why they chose your group over the other options? One of the women said:
“Your group scared me the most, that’s how I knew I was supposed to do it.”
Her response surprised you at the time. You began to think of the presence (or absence) of fear as an indicator light for when it was time to dig in or move on. You let it be your guide as you arrived at several creative crossroads.
When the kids were younger you enjoyed photography and, sure, you cared about being good at your job. But it didn’t make the butterflies in your stomach feel nauseous when you thought about continuing. So you kept on taking photos of your own family because you enjoyed it but you stopped doing it as a paid job.
In the case of this theater class, the fear is simply an affirmation that you deeply care about what you’re doing and that you’re headed in the right direction. Tell the fear, “thank you for the information” and keep taking steps forward.
Part 2: Ask Different Questions
You know how you always ask the same questions whenever you’re starting something new?
What’s expected of you? Will you be able to meet those expectations or will you fail?
I think you’ve already figured out that those aren’t helpful questions. All they do is weigh you down with pressure. (And the truth is, your own expectations will always be greater than anyone else’s.)
Instead, remember what your friend Shannon said the other day. She suggested a different question:
What do you want to bring to this space/experience?
Then she went on to tell you that you’re great at encouraging people to explore creative endeavors without making them feel like they need to do it “the right way”. When you thought about it, you realized what she said was true.
What if the only expectation you placed on yourself was to ignite the imaginations of your students this year, and yours as well? What if you don’t have to do this year the “right” way? What if it’s all one big experiment and you get to be surprised with how it turns out?
PART 3: It’s Okay to Show Up as You
For years now you’ve known that not everyone daydreams about how to write and produce theater. They don’t mentally write their acceptance speech during The Tony Awards (partly because they aren’t watching The Tony Awards to begin with) or imagine what their outfit will look like when it’s their turn to walk to the podium. They don’t turn down a mom’s retreat in order to work on their script. They don’t have a bachelor’s degree in theater or an innate sense of how to write up a lesson plan.
A pie chart would show 40% of your brain activity is dedicated to the categories of writing, art, and theater. Saying yes to this teaching opportunity means that you are leaning into more of who you were always made to be.
Still I see that now you’re comparing yourself to how other drama teachers might run their classroom. You remember the teacher that you loved when you were in 11th and 12th grade and how she was stern and her students were scared of her. Is that how you have to be, you wonder, in order to be a good teacher? But you have a certain personality, a certain set of skills and gifts that are specific to you. Don’t ask “What would *teacher’s name* do?”, ask “What would Aimee do?”
Remember how you loved what film director, Baz Lurhmann, had to say in the interview you listened to this weekend. He said even though his name had been mentioned for directing the first Harry Potter movie he knew that someone else could have done a good job (and they did) while there were projects that only he could uniquely do. He didn’t say it out of pride but out of an understanding of his vision and intention.
“Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and in the end, it’s only with yourself.”
-Baz Lurhmann, director of Elvis and Moulin Rouge
Reader, what about you? Did any part of this pep talk encourage you in this season of beginnings? If not, what do you need to hear this week so you can keep moving forward?
Continue the Journey
We are the Introverts: If you’re an introvert, hurry over to this post by illustrator and writer Grant Snider.
Then check out his post on how to create your own poetry comics.
Interview with Baz Lurhmann: This weekend I listened to this podcast episode from a few years back. It inspired me to look up more Baz Lurhmann quotes because I loved his viewpoint on the creative process of making movies.
“A life lived in fear…is a half-lived life.” (from his first movie, Strictly Ballroom)
From the Sketchbook
I watched a movie called Marley and Me this week and when the family moved to this house I paused the movie to take a screenshot. I LOVE this house. During some hours when words weren’t coming easy for this newsletter, transcribing this house into my sketchbook helped soothe my ruffled creative feathers.
Blessings from the Guest Nest,
-Aimee
Thanks so much for reading, sharing, and contributing to the conversation. You can support my art and writing by donating to my art supply fund and by sharing this newsletter with friends who might enjoy it.
What a great post! I love your honesty about the scariness of doing new things. Even as I type this, I'm sitting in a new space working on getting a business started with my husband (eek!). I love “What would Aimee do?” as an ongoing question. I've recently been pondering the idea that many of us picked up as children - that we were supposed to be like Jesus. And by that I mean essentially perfect. We were supposed to be humble, able to resist temptation and know just what to say and when to say it. Instead, I now believe we're *invited* to reflect Jesus to the world in our own particular way. The Aimee way? Creativity, nurturing, compassion. May you lean into that and have the support you need to be fully yourself in this role!
Aimee ... this post is so beautiful. and so timely. I'm stepping into something very fearful and new as well and it has been paralyzing. This post is exactly what i need to stay in it!! Thank you for your courage and vulnerability!!