“You got this.”
-Yoga with Adriene
As I crossed last year’s finish line and entered 2023, I looked at the year ahead and noticed something. According to my calendar, I’ve surrounded myself with kind voices this year. Between online classes, weekly counseling sessions, and regular gatherings with friends, I realized that I’ve chosen people who speak with kind hearts. People that can’t help but offer gentleness and encouragement. People that allow for mistakes or even celebrate them.
In the last few years, I’ve started to recognize unkind voices, whether they come from friends, books, medical professionals, or strangers. I’ve practiced rejecting these voices which might be how I ended up with this calendar of kindness. When I really start to think about this gentler chorus in my life, I tear up a bit, because for over four decades I didn’t think I deserved kindness. I believed shame and criticism were what I deserved.
When I fell into a blackhole of chronic pain five years ago, it eventually became clear to me that something had to change. Before I started recognizing the critical voices in my life, I first had to recognize that I was the loudest critic. I fought hard against grace, convinced it wasn’t what I needed. But eventually compassion began to outrun condemnation and in response my heart grew more alert to the types of voices in my life.
The friend who makes me feel like I’m too much? Not a voice I need in my life.
The doctor who uses air quotes when talking about my physical pain? See ya.
The book that fills me with regret over things I can’t change? Back to the library you go.
Included in this year’s chorus:
The art teacher who encourages playfulness and making mistakes as part of the process? Who shares honestly of her own struggles and courageously continues forward? Sign me up.
The yoga teacher who encourages me to try a pose and risk falling because it’s good to fall and realize you are still okay? Who also reminds me each day to whisper to myself, “I am strong” and “I am safe”, which I then offer up as prayers of gratitude. See you tomorrow morning.
The friend who knows all my parts and instead of running away, runs toward me? I’ll see you next week.
Realizing I have a choice about what voices I’m going to let into my life and then making those choices is one of the most radical things I’ve done in the last few years. It hasn’t been a quick change and I still find myself drifting back to the much more familiar voice meant to stir up shame. I’m learning it takes a while to replace a voice that’s been around for over four decades, but it’s possible.
From the Sketchbook Archives
Favorite Finds
Kind Yoga: Yoga with Adriene
A Kind Newsletter: Shannon’s Newsletter
A Kind (Yoga) Dog: Be Like Benji
Blessing
May you be surrounded by a chorus of kindness this week and may one of the voices be your own.
Blessings from the Guest Nest,
Aimee